19 going on 20

knowing that it's really the end for us seems kinda surreal.
im not afraid of moving on; im just afraid of all the things that will remind me of you.

 i'll never look at Japan in the same light ever again. i caught 'The Cove' yesterday and i was horrified by the images i saw. while watching the documentary, i was cursing under my breath at each and every one of them who have a part in the dolphin massacre each year, hoping that they would all DIE. yes, that was how serious and intense i was feeling at that time.

each year, 23000 dolphins are being killed at Taiji, Japan. in fact, dolphins are being killed as im typing this right now, as the so-called 'dolphin harvesting' is done in september every year. the way the dolphins are being driven into the cove by the fishermen and later on killed by them is totally inhumane. the dolphins are being trapped in the shallow waters, unable to escape, and these mindless bastards would constantly stab the harmless and vulnerable dolphins with a spear like object repeatedly till they die. the scene is just too painful to watch as you can hear the cries of the dolphins with each stab until the cove is stained crimson red with the blood of the dolphins. the most infuriating part about this whole saga is that, the japanese government actually condones such behaviour and is in fact supportive of it. they brain-washed the fishermen, telling them that the dolphins are depleting the fishes in the ocean quickly, and this translates to them having a smaller harvest. with this, they are more than willing to hunt the dolphins down, what more, they are getting paid so they see any reason not to do it.

to think most of us have the impression that japan is well advanced, yet such a thing is happening. if it werent for 'The Cove', many of us, including the rest of the Japanese in other parts of Japan, would be still kept in the dark about these hideous acts. i know hoping that the Japanese government would give up this lucrative yet painfully disheartening industry is quite impossible, at least not until the other nations forced them to. what i do hope is that these dolphins were to change their migratory route and swim far far away from that evil place called Taiji and regain the freedom that rightfully belongs to them.

 ok, i finally have the time to sit down and write while waiting for D to end work before heading to catch a movie. past few months and weeks have been crazily hectic, with stuff coming at me one after another, which thus explains my absence from LJ, but i still do read all of your entries. =) 

so it was basically work, french, gym, birthdays, dinners, taipei planning etc. and now that i have ended french and have quit my job, i have some time to spare and to relax before school starts. but looking back , i'd rather be a busy bee than to sit at home and rot, even though it inevitably meant that i have less/no time for many people. so so many 21st this year, just back from mei's but there's like still kevin's, matthew's, kenny's, darius', and this is only projected for the next 3 weeks. i foresee myself being very broke. :(

since im sorting out some photos, shall post a few up here.

ok, with the latest addition of my freitag, i am now declared 'Bankrupt'. i am in serious debt, like big time. of course not like becky who owes Endwich Bank kind of debt with her million overdrafts, nor do i owe the Pig-head-hanging-on-doors loan sharks. (btw, with the recent swine flu and what not, i wonder what they'd do without the pig heads.) i just owe myself a lot a lot of money. =(

like C.S. Lewis once said,'A man with an obsession is a man who has very little sales resistance.' i bet he was referring to me when he came up with that line. boo hoo. and i realised the amount of money i can save and spend on shopping other things if i dont club, it'd be amazing if im able to grow out of the clubbing phase entirely, then i'd be a rich lil boy. haha.

anyways, the weekend was well spent, was out with D and we managed to each do a lil shopping, which i've not done for quite some time, so that was justifiable. back to work tomorrow, a brand new week, a week closer to starting school in august which i have entirely mixed feelings about, but that shall be left for another post.  

to all u guys, have a fantastic week ahead and chase those monday blues away for those who have to work. ENJOY.


M.

UPDATES:

Nothing out of the ordinary this week, just shuffling to and fro from work, home and gym, which is tiring enough. Caught 'lemming' at Alliance Francaise on tuesday with D, not really sure what was going on and not forgetting the fact that we watched it after work; damn tired, but still a pretty good effort lar. CATS on thursday was more enjoyable i must say, though i kept getting teased by one of the cats as i was sitting in a corner stall seat.

so tired from the week that im home on a friday night after having dinner with the folks while the rest of the world is out there partying to the arrival of the weekend. i know im boring, sue me!! lol. the weekend wont be much of a rest for me i guess, band practice tmrw morning till past noon then gonna snip/chop/shave my SUPER unkempt hair which has been bugging me for quite a while now. oh, might prolly go down to forum as CLUB21 is having a SALE!!! 

not that im in any condition to do much proper and legitimate shopping, i'll just pop by, and who knows, MAYBE; just maybe, i might find something that i like and can afford? Yes, that is so gonna happen and i'll go home a happy boy with a nice club21 paperbag sale bag. =)

 been some time since i last updated, but this shall be a short and sweet entry as im kinda tired. nothing really exciting over the weeks, other than weelin's birthday. started work since last week, thats why im hardly online anymore as usually i'll be too tired from work and gym to even come online. all i wanna do is just plough into bed. lol.

okay, lazy to type anymore, just some pictures from the party:


1) Thats me pumping helium into the balloons while the girls tied them.



2) Mei trying her hand out on Guitar Heroes.



3) Group shot.



4) I kinda like this shot, very spontaneous.



5) What's a 21st without a key? lol.

 At the end of episode 18, GossipGirl says, 'Sometimes fate throws 2 lovers together, only to rip them apart.' I've seen and heard of so many couples who seem like they're meant for each other but they end up not being together. Like Juan Antonio and Maria Elena in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, they seem a perfect match, but for some reason they cannot stand being/living with each other. So im asking myself, what's the point of being a match when eventually things will not work out? Would it be because of that fact the both parties cannot have each other that they yearn for one another even more? 

Are you the sort who lets fate decide who you end up with, or are you one who go against her every time and end up getting bruised and battered after each relationship. Would you fall head over heels over someone and expose your already-vulnerable heart to even more damage, if you knew things will not work out? I think we as humans have the propensity to yearn for the companionship and the so-called bliss in a relationship that we're willing to sacrifice all it takes just for that glimmer of hope. Are there people out there who can live without LOVE? Is Love really overrated; a luxury item that some cannot afford, or is Love a necessity; needed to keep us alive. Cliche as it may sound, i think Love is a powerful emotion, something each and everyone of us needs to experience at least once in our lifetime. Some people fall in Love only once in their entire adulthood, while some countless number of times, whichever it is, one cannot deny that the feeling of being in Love is wonderful and irreplaceable. Personally, i feel that being in Love with someone allows you to discover a side of you in which you may not be aware of. The extra mile you're willing to take for that special someone, the undeniably sweet and romantic gestures, the irrational and unreasonable behaviour when you get jealous and so on and so forth, the list goes on. What im trying to say is Love opens our eyes to so many things that were previously blinded from us, we learn and we grow, we become better lovers and better people. It's not everyday that you meet someone that you have this fatal attraction towards, make the best out of it, so what if things dont last, at least you shared good times and i think it's all worth it. So, put your heart out there and dare to love. Whatever doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger.

I, representative of all the Love fools in the world, promise to keep loving and continue being loved in spite of all the heartache and pain the future has in store for us, to ensure a more loving and lovable society.

i woke up to the strangest dream this morning. i dreamnt that i was back playing in the band, but instead of the saxophone, i was playing the trumpet. strangely enough, i knew how to play the trumpet in the dream, but when i tried to read the score it became all blur and fuzzy and the notes kept running away. maybe it's a sign? or maybe it's just me reminiscing the good ol' days.

someone asked why wasnt there a celebratory post (not pose. =P) on my ORD, so here it is. yes, i ORDed like more than 2 weeks ago and it marked the completion of my 1year10months as a full time national servicemen. i returned my camp pass, they pasted some sticker over my 11B, collected my pink ic and yada yada, you get the drift. so now im back to being a civilian, school wouldnt start till aug, which means i would have quite some time on hand. im supposed to be looking for a job but up till now im still jobless, so if you guys know of anyone that is hiring, let me know!!! lol.

im actually kinda looking forward to sch, a new beginning, new friends, a step closer to my bleak and distant future. ok, maybe not so much the last point. lol. but whatever it is, im still remaining positive about sch and hoping to have fun there. =)

PS: To MissSwan, if you're reading this, i hope you stay strong and have faith. I know it's not easy, it's times like this that makes the good times seem more memorable and precious. if it's really what you want, dont give up so easily, you know you'll always have my blessing and im here whenever you need a friend. :)

most 20, 21 year old males should be very happy knowing that they're gonna ord in just a week's time, but im not quite the same. i mean im glad and all that im leaving SAF, but not entirely ecstatic bout it. there's so much im gonna miss but yet there's so much more the outside world can offer. i'll miss all those crazy guys in camp where we spent so much time together over the past year or so, the good the bad, and the worst. i know we all complain from time to time about national service and how it's a waste of 2 years of our lives and that many better things can be accomplished  within this time. but deep down inside, im glad that i did do my 2 years of national service, and i wouldnt say that the 2 years have gone in vain. i've learnt so much about myself, in which i never knew that a part of me like that actually existed. i've learnt how to live with people of entirely different backgrounds and having to make it work. i've learnt how bad leaders/superiors can have a great effect on the people working for them. and no, the army isnt paying me to write this, nor am i SAF's new ambassador. i just feel that my army experience deserves a good closure, an entry unlike the countless many in this journal which was always whiny and bad. so, this entry is completely dedicated to my great army experience and to mention to the world how glad i am to have served my 2 years proudly.

i dont like feeling like this, i wouldnt say it's your fault. maybe it's just me with my paranoia and my insecurities. and the result of it? me listening to the same chinese song over and over again from the moment i woke up. seriously.